Time is moving along...I think

This time last year I was coming out of my "Gaza haze" and doing something, anything I could do to speak about Gaza and my trip. I met with my Congressman's outreach coordinator; developed my slide presentation; began speaking before groups.....and I thought and thought.

Gaza changed my life. I said before the Susan who went to Gaza in May 2009 was not the Susan who returned to Doylestown in June . That's a good thing. The devastation in Gaza was a shock. I wasn't prepared for the total destruction. I continue to wonder how the people in Gaza manage with so much loss,..homes, buildings, schools, hospitals, police and fire stations, farms...and the most difficult loss people, family, friends, neighbors. I think of Gaza numerous times through out the day...it's become a passion.

AND I've talked of going back first it was to be in September of 2009, then January of 2010, May 2010 and now it seems as though I am really set to leave around August 24 and return the first week in October. I know family and friends are not thrilled or convinced this is something I should be doing. And I don't really expect them to be...they certainly are entitled to their own opinion about my journey. I am not trying to convince anyone they should understand or agree with my plans. I want support, I need support but if they can't give that to me or if it's  given conditionally...with strings attached...I will do with out. I understand their concerns, worries, etc but this is something I have to do and I accept the risks.

It's difficult to articulate what I'm feeling....I'm energized but very peaceful about my decision to return to Gaza I feel no need to defend or explain this to others. I suppose that sounds selfish; it isn't meant to be. Before 2004 I knew little about Palestine...I became aware in such an amazing way...If I believed in divine intervention this would be a #1 example. Traveling to West Bank woke me up and kindled my interest in the entire Israel/Palestine conflict and GAZA.

Why do I want to return?? I wish I could answer that clearly. At one point, I believe it was late afternoon, we visited a tent city...I believe I wrote about this in an earlier post...I was emotionally overloaded and wandered off from the group to watch some children building and flying kites. They saw me watching and in no time we were communicating with out words. I was invited to fly the kite...given instructions and shared laughter as I tried to follow them. For the first time in my life, I was successfully flew a kite.

That incident has stuck with me. I wanted to play with those children...laugh...learn from each other...share experiences together...create some time that could turn into pleasant memories to hold on to. I wanted to return to Gaza and have more experiences with the children in Gaza. I hope by doing this we'll have fun.and by getting to know me, even for a short time, they'll have an American to remember and I hope those memories are positive in many ways.