Reporting Back Informally with my brother-in-law

Monday; August 10 my husband and I flew off to the UK...on separate planes (which I won't go into) We were attending his niece's wedding Aug 14 near Leeds, then traveling to Ireland August 17 for a week's stay in Galway with friends....Thursday, August 20, I was giving a report back in Galway.

On the flight over, I tried talking about Gaza with my seatmate, but to no avail. She was returning to Manchester after 4 weeks with her "mate" in Utah. Putting on lip gloss was almost an obsession; as was looking out the window, then asking me where we were. She tuned out most conversations, including Gaza and I never discovered if her "mate" was male or female.

Time in the UK was spent with family, their friends and some of our friends; presenting many opportunities for informal/mini report backs. Naturally, conversations and activities centered around the wedding, bride and groom.

Tuesday evening my brother-in-law proved to be a fairly receptive audience, so I brought out my laptop with the slide presentation. He was surprised by the extent of the destruction as are 99% of the people who view the pictures. Those who aren't shocked have usually been to Gaza. We talked about the Qattan Center and the children in Gaza. He shook his head while looking at the pictures painted by children in Qattan's art therapy program. As a retired pediatric oncologist and former head of a hospital, he knows about childhood trauma. He confirmed what the NGOs told us about the devastating effects of the bombing, invasion and siege on Gaza's children.

I shared my uncomfortable feelings about invading the privacy of many of the Gazans we met. Even though they freely shared their stories, I believe most spoke out of desperation. They hoped some how we would hear their stories, return to the US, tell others what we'd heard and seen; and then with our "magical powers" all would be right and fair and free in Gaza. The responsibility of that weighs heavy on me. Cliff relayed some of his experiences in India; of going through hospitals, having people beg him to help them.....the reality of how much was expected and hoped for and how little he could actually do.

Not only was this an informal/mini report back....it was a much needed conversation and sharing for me. Most people can't begin to understand my feelings about Gaza and the responsibility those feelings entail. Even when they try they can't understand. Those who've been to Gaza or other traumatic places are all too familiar with the feelings and emotions. Cliff immediately understood what I was experiencing. I appreciate our talking, sharing and finding we have a common bond.

Years ago we went with Cliff and Sylvia (his wife, my husband's sister) to an Indian restaurant in either Leeds of Bradford. While we were eating an Indian gentleman came over to Cliff...bowing, holding onto Cliff's hand after he'd shaken it, bowing again, fighting back tears, expressing thanks, appreciation, over and over and over again. Emotion choking his speech, he told us how Cliff saved his son's life. Cliff was gracious and appreciative, but clearly uncomfortable. When the man left none of us knew what to say. I remember thinking what an enormous responsibility rested on my brother-in-laws shoulders; so many people placing all their hope and their childrens' lives in his hands.